Sunday, February 21, 2010

Sekurity Report: February 2010 PawPawty

The February 2010 PawPawty was held on February 20-21 and it supported The Pet Samaritan Fund. The Pawty theme was Anipal Winter Olympics. The event raised $1,345!

Some official Sekurity Team Announcements:
  • Sergeant Shawnee Shep has been promoted to Lieutenant!
  • Cadet Smokey was promoted to Officer.
  • Cadet Mace was promoted to Officer.
The Sekurity Team is still recruiting new cadets! Help us protekt and serve! For more information, see Captain Snicker's blog.

The Sekurity Team Roll Call

Captain SnickersLieutenant Shawnee
Officer BrutusOfficer Cheshire Kitten
Officer MorrisOfficer Smokey
Underkover Sekrit Informant FergusDokumentation Officer Buttons
Cadet Hella HedgieCadet Emily

Standard Sekurity Announcements

The Sekurity Team member on dooty during each shift tweeted the following standard announcements:
  • If you are new to #pawpawty and need assistance please see sekurity. We cans help.
  • ANIPALS dont forget to block the spammers, free $ ppl, gets lots of followers, and noggty ladies that start following you during #pawpawty.
  • Remember you must unproteckt your tweets to be seen during pawty and use the #pawpawty hashtag to attend!
(Yes, the Dokumentation Officer is too lazy to dokument those announcements throughout the report.)

The Official Sekurity Report

2:02 p.m.Captain Snickers reports for Sekurity Dooty. The PawPawty officially begins!
2:02 p.m.Tributes begin via @FrugalDougal for all anipals that have gone over the Rainbow Bridge.
3:43 p.m.Report comes in that @demondogsports destroyed a toy. Captain Snickers investigated, but it was his own toy, so no other anipal's toy was harmed. Proof of destruction:
3:54 p.m.Cadet HellaHedgie reports for Sekurity Dooty. Captain Snickers remains on dooty for training purposes.
Non-Handoff Report:It has been very quiet so far.
3:59 p.m.Sekurity Announcement: Captain Snick is training new cadet, HellaHedgie now. Welcome Cadet HellaHedgie to the Sekurity Team!
4:04 p.m.Captain Snick gives official warning to @MrKiplingwoof for trying to get Cadet HellaHedgie to drink while on dooty. Proof: Note: Cadet HellaHedgie did not partake.
4:09 p.m.Cadet HellaHedgie confirms that Sekurity can give hugs while on dooty.
4:13 p.m.Captain Snick signs off of Sekurity Dooty for lunch break. Cadet HellaHedgie is in charge of Sekurity.
4:18 p.m.Sekurity Alert: Our fearless leader @FrugalDougal is in Twitter jail!
4:32 p.m.Sekurity Alert: Our master of pawty is back as @FrugalDougalDog.
4:50 p.m.Sekurity Alert: Quizzes are back on! Please follow @FrugalDougalDog to play
4:52 p.m.Cadet HellaHedgie investigates report from @no_crybaby_doGs that she lost her 44DD bra. Cadet offers to help find it. Turns out that it was a joke and a bit of a ploy to get into the Sekurity Report. (Note from Dokumentation Officer Buttons: That ploy won't work with me! Oh, wait...maybe it did...)
5:03 p.m.Cadet HellaHedgie advises @justanothertrnd to be sure to block spammers and report them. Cadet, being a hedgehog, will then "Spikey Those Spammers!"
5:09 p.m.@CokieTheCat claims to be the owner of the 44DD:
5:10 p.m.Sekurity Announcement: Please return the 44DDD bra to rightful owner @CokieTheCat.
5:15 p.m.Sekurity Alert: Oh noes! @MrKiplingwoof is using @CokieTheCat's bra as a punch bowl!
5:21 p.m.Sekurity Alert: @FrugalDougal is out of twitter jail! Please watch his usual account now.
5:27 p.m.Sekurity Announcement: Okay, you crazy anipals can use @CokieTheCat's bra for the pawty.. but you gotta give it back!
5:30 p.m.Cadet HellaHedgie asks @PepiSmartDog to stop stealing bras for punch bowls.
5:40 p.m.Sekurity Announcement: Help needed to transport guinea pigs to new owner, their owner died. Please contact @Guinygirlz to help!
5:46 p.m.Captain Snick returns from lunch break and confirms with Cadet HellaHedgie that flirting is o.k. on Sekurity Dooty. Cadet HellaHedgie continues to flirt with @DottieGP.
5:50 p.m.Cadet HellaHedgie reports that his shift was quiet except for @PepiSmartDog, @MrKiplingWoof and @PierrethePoodle stealing bras for punch bowls. Bra owner, @CokieTheCat said they could use his as long as he wasn't cross-dressing.
Handoff Report:Cadet HellaHedgie reports that he behaved himself on his first Sekurity shift and that the shift was quiet except for the bra stealing.
5:58 p.m.Cadet HellaHedgie transfers Sekurity Dooty to Lieutenant Shawnee.
6:00 p.m.Sekurity Alert: These squirrels are not for nomming. They are for giving massages to the athletes.
6:22 p.m.Sekurity Alert: It be cold outside. Please exercise caution.
8:11 p.m.Cadet Emily has not yet shown up for Sekurity Dooty. Lieutenant Shawnee reports that she will stay on a bit.
8:13 p.m.Cadet Emily reports for Sekurity Dooty. Lieutenant Shawnee will stay for a bit just in case she's needed.
Handoff Report:@PierrethePoodle is giving out free hooch so just line up the ones sleeping it off.
8:25 p.m.Cadet Emily investigates report of bacon overdose by @MattieDog.
8:27 p.m.Cadet Emily asks @ShibberingC to put their coats back on and stop streaking across the stage. Don't want anyone catching a cold at the Anipal Winter Olympics.
9:21 p.m.Lieutenant Shawnee advises Cadet Emily that any anipals being particularly naughty can be given dooty dooty:
10:01 p.m.Officer Brutus reports for Sekurity Dooty.
Handoff Report:Nothing to report.
10:04 p.m.Cadet Emily signs off of Sekurity Dooty.
10:27 p.m.Officer Brutus reports that there have been no sightings of poo guns yet.
11:33 p.m.Sekurity Alert: @trailerparkdogs, @HankTheDoggy and @PierreThePoodle are hooched up and peeing their names on the ski slopes.
11:34 p.m.Report correction: They're peeing Officer Brutus' name on the ski slopes! No action taken yet.
11:37 p.m.Officer Brutus reminds the ski slope pee-ers that they're being watched.
11:58 p.m.Officer Brutus takes pics of pee evidence, bags snowballs, confiscates bobsled! Culprits are still @trailerparkdogs, @HankTheDoggy and @PierreThePoodle.
12:03 a.m.Officer Brutus signs off of Sekurity Dooty. Note: No Sekurity coverage for the next two hours.
1:39 a.m.Officer Smokey (not officially on Dooty, but up with a sick brother) sends out Sekurity Alert: No sekurity on dooty right now (per schedule). If you get a DM asking "LOL Is this you" DO NOT click link in DM. This is a known phishing scheme.
1:46 a.m.Officer Morris reports for Sekurity Dooty.
1:56 a.m.Report comes in from @SylvieDog that @MugsyDog got into some hooch. Officer Morris offers assistance.
2:02 a.m.Officer Morris loads @MugsyDog onto the Sekurity Sled and straps him in.
2:04 a.m.Officer Morris transports @MugsyDog safely home.
2:50 a.m.Sekurity Alert: Anipals, @BildArchiv is a random retweeter - not rude but you might want to block.
Non-Handoff Report:Officer Smokey kindly stepped in between shifts to warn anipals that hacked Twitter accounts were sending dodgy DMs.
We had a Random Retweeter, @BildArchiv - not rude or spammy, just annoying so I advised anipals to block.
I also took @MugsyDog home on the Sekurity Sled as he had passed out AGAIN!!! And that was all that happened on my shift
4:10 a.m.Officer Morris signs off of Sekurity Dooty. Note: No Sekurity coverage for the next four hours.
7:56 a.m.Officer Smokey reports for Sekurity Dooty.
7:58 a.m.Officer Smokey reports: @PepiSmartDog did ask about a suspicious RT as I was logging in. Looked at their Twitter profile and they looked okay to me.
8:08 a.m.Officer Smokey confirms to @kingtuttifruiti that streaking is o.k. for anipals. It's nekkid lady spammers that we don't like.
8:18 a.m.Sekurity Announcement: Information on phishing attacks via DM:
8:20 a.m.Sekurity Announcement: You can check to see if a bot is phishing your account by checking your sent DMs.
8:25 a.m.Sekurity Announcement: Check all sent boxes, not just DM for possible phishing bot generated messages.
8:44 a.m.Sekurity Announcement: Be cautious of @petBizRipOffs. Their timeline is nothing but RTs. May be a bot.
9:07 a.m.Sekurity Announcement: @hashtager looks like a bot. Consider blocking!
9:12 a.m.Sekurity Announcement: Anipals are reporting @petripoffs is a bot along with @pawsville and @anipals. Consider blocking.
9:33 a.m.Sekurity Announcement: Officer Smokey's account is apparently in Twitter Jail. Using Ody's temporarily.
9:58 a.m.Officer Cheshire Kitten reports for Sekurity Dooty.
Handoff Report:Pretty quiet over all. Some bot activity, but no misbehaving anipals.
10:13 a.m.Officer Smokey signs off of Sekurity Dooty.
10:27 a.m.Reports come in that something is being pelted with Cheetos. Officer Cheshire Kitten investigates and discovers that the Abominable Snowman is being pelted with Cheetos to keep him away from PawPawty animals. Pelters are Officer Morris, @BadAndy_KityKat, @Petiethecat and @BorisKitty.
10:42 a.m.Officer Cheshire Kitten, still investigating the Cheetos Chucking, reports: I think I need advice from a senior officer about this Cheeto Chucking. Is the Yeti a pal or a predator?
10:46 a.m.Cheetos Chucking investigation concludes. Officer Cheshire Kitten determines that the pelters were protecting the PawPawty from the Abominable Snowman...they were not Cheetos Chucking randomly.
11:20 a.m.Sekurity Alert: Another suspected bot to watch out for @BildArchiv.
12:01 p.m.Officer Brutus reports for Sekurity Dooty.
Handoff Report:Some of the mancats (and some other pals) chucked Cheetos at the Abominable Snowman to protect @BadAndy_KityKat.
We can thank @boriskitty, @petiethecat, @kittehboi, Officer Morris and some others, too.
Just a little bit of bot activity.
12:11 p.m.@no_crybaby_doGs begins to try to compromise Officer Brutus. Proof: and
Then @no_crybaby_doGs continues to try to bribe Officer Brutus with pills and bacon.
12:17 p.m.Officer Brutus offers to take @no_crybaby_doGs to watch an Olympic event and attempts to take her bacon for safe-keeping.
12:28 p.m.@BaronVonOdem claims the pills are his and don't belong to @no_crybaby_doGs.
12:33 p.m.@BaronVonOdem attempts to bribe Officer Brutus with a kiss to keep @no_crybaby_doGs out of the clink.
12:37 p.m.Tired of the shenanigans, Officer Brutus assigns punishment to @BaronVonOdem and @no_crybaby_doGs: handing sweat towels to the hockey teams.
12:46 p.m.Report comes in from @PetieTheCat that some dogs have a cat in a bag and are shaking it. Officer Brutus investigates @SantaCatz, @Apollo_Frenchie, @HankTheDoggy, and @kealoha_kitty. It appears that @SantaCatz was in the bag.
12:47 p.m.Report comes in that @no_crybaby_doGs assaulted a hockey player with a wet towel. (Smacked 'em.)
12:49 p.m.Officer Brutus officially arrests @no_crybaby_doGs for assaulting both the hockey player and himself; takes her to jail. Bail is set at a $10 donation to the PawPawty charity.
12:51 p.m.Officer Brutus then rushes from the jail and rescues @SantaCatz from the bag by grabbing the bag with his Dane teeth.
12:55 p.m.Officer Brutus reports on the cat-nappers: @Apollo_Frenchie has peacefully turned himself in. May get off for first time offense. @HankTheDoggy sent to drunk tank. @BigBoyBosco is repeat offender of catnapping @SantaCatz. Things won't be easy for him this time. @BigBoyBosco is also responsible for corrupting @Kealoha_Kitty.
1:01 p.m.Bail was posted for @no_crybaby_doGs by @Yoda_the_Dog. @no_crybaby_doGs is released from jail.
1:03 p.m.@BigBoyBosco, @Apollo_Frenchie, @HankTheDoggy begin lighting firecrackers and tossing them behind Sekurity.
1:05 p.m.Officer Brutus confiscates @kealoha_kitty's luge sled for being a willing accomplice in the cat-napping, etc.
1:06 p.m.Officer Brutus gallops after @BigBoyBosco (on a bobsled) and rescues @PetieTheCat, who had been cat-napped for snitching on the cat-nappers. @PetieTheCat is safely delivered to the cross-country track.
1:08 p.m.Bail for @Apollo_Frenchie and @HankTheDoggy has been set at $10 donation each.
1:13 p.m.Officer Brutus pulls @PetieTheCat and @Kealoha_Kitty out of a snow bank. They had been tossed there as additional retaliation from the cat-nappers.
1:15 p.m.Officer Brutus tells @Apollo_Frenchie and @HankTheDoggy that they have the option of waxing skis if nobody comes forward to post bail.
1:17 p.m.@HankTheDoggy posts his own bail and is released from jail.
1:20 p.m.Officer Brutus waits at the Western Union office for bail money to arrive for @Apollo_Frenchie.
1:34 p.m.Bail money arrives for @Apollo_Frenchie and he is released.
1:50 p.m.Captain Snick arrives to check on Sekurity at the end of the PawPawty.
1:55 p.m.Officer Brutus reports: @no_crybaby_doGs assaulted the hockey team and then a group of boys kidnapped @SantaCatz!
2:01 p.m.@no_crybaby_doGs establishes the "#SekurityHunkBrutus" hash tag. (Note from Dokumentation Officer Buttons: I'll use THAT tag!)
2:02 p.m.PawPawty winds down. Officer Brutus signs off of official Sekurity Dooty.


  1. Such a great job with the Sekurity Report! *whispers* I'm just glad Ody wasn't in it this time... I still think him and @DaphneDox are up to something.

  2. OMD! I had no idea officer Brutus had that many problems on his shift. The pawtiers must has bee saving up their shenanigans for him. Grate job again, Buttons!

  3. My you are very busy! How can you keep it all straight?

  4. Dear Buttons wat a fabulouse sekurity report, teh hole team did a pawsome job keeping efurrone safe & happy!

  5. #SekurityHunkBrutus checking in to say this was a wonderful sekurity report and my last shift was brilliantly summarized!

  6. another grate sekurity report.

    i haz to talk to lieutenant shawnee shep about a possible commendation for officer brutus.

  7. Oh wow. Buttons, that was a very detailed security report. Good job!

  8. Good job Buttons! Very detailed account of all the shennanigans the anipals are up to...snicker...

    I look forward to reading your Sekurity Report each month.

  9. Oh boy! How did I get my name in the Sekurity report so many times? By the way, great job on the report, Buttons! ...Even if my name is in it. *sighs*

  10. Awesome Sekurity report!!! Lots of bad anipals at da #pawpawty - dis was my kinda pawty! U cutie pants U!

  11. Wow, looks like I missed a great pawty! *Yelling offscreen* Mo-om! How comes I gots to miss the pawties??? Can I go next month, PLEASE?!?!?

  12. Hi Buttons,

    Thanks for coming by to see us!

    We luv ya,
    Riley and Star.

  13. Grrrreat job Buttons *high paw* I missed it but reading your detailed and hilarious report is almost as good as being there :o)
    thank you! *woof*

  14. Great report mai pal, I get to see all the things I missed !!! Well done mai pal

  15. It looks like I missed one hell of a party! :(


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