Another Stand-Off

On our walk tonight, I decided that we were going to go visit our neighbor.

She lives right over there.

So I decided to go visit, but sadly, that's as close as I got to her house. I stood there and stood there and stood there. Mom rudely refused to let me go visit because she "claimed" she had laundry and dishes to do.

I think maybe she knows that our neighbor is my favorite person...
   

Ongoing Battles

One morning late last week, Mom put her clean work shirt on the bed and went off to brush her teeth. I couldn't pass that up that wonderful opportunity.

White dog + clean black shirt = pure ornery brilliance.

Unfortunately, Mom retaliated with this...

Yes, my friends, she made me take another bath. She claimed that I had poo on my hiney and that I needed that medicated shampoo for my scabby allergy spots. Personally, however, I feel this was purely an act of vengeance on her part.

Call PETA. Baths are inhumane.

   

Retaliation

Mom destroyed my underground lair. All the hours I spend shredding paper under there...gone.

So, in retaliation, I shredded a potty pad.

Don't worry. It's not like I use those to take care of my business. In fact, Mom just puts them out in places where I have sometimes have accidents if my tummy's upset. She calls it "preventative." I call it "shreddable."
 

Retaliation makes me sleepy...
 

My Underground Lair

I was minding my own business, snoozing on the big bed, when Mom suddenly interrupted me and wrecked havoc on my entire world.

Seriously.

You see, for a couple of years now, I've spent my nights perfecting my underground lair. (That's what I like to call the area under Mom's bed.)

While Mom was sleeping, I moved her boxes around...hid toys under there...shredded papers...stole Mom's socks...etc. And until now, Mom just left me alone. I was allowed to...um..."decorate" my space however I liked.

Until this dreadful day.

Mom announced that something smelled under the bed and it was time to see what I had been up to under there. She got the surprise of her life when she moved the mattress and lifted up the box springs.

She got a good view of my handiwork. I'd sure been busy under there.

I surveyed my work. Looks a little different with light. I'm usually working in the dark under there.

Yep. That's my stuff.

So Mom took an hour or two and cleaned out my decor. (How rude!) In among all of the shredded papers and magazines she found:

• 82 dog toys
• 1 dog toy carcass
• 1 random toy squeaker
• 1 toy ear
• 1 toy leg
• a dozen or more of her socks
• 1 of her shirts

There was an old spot on the carpet, too, so Mom used cleaner on that and then used a fan to dry it.

Worst part is that Mom never could find anything that actually smelled. She destroyed my mess and never found anything stinky!

Guess I'm going to have to start decorating all over again.
 

Mischief Maker

Even though my blog has been a little quiet lately, please don't think that I haven't been up to mischief. You can rest assured that I have.

Last night, for example, Mom had trouble sleeping because I kept shredding papers under her bed.

And the other day we had some beautiful sunshine, so I kept acting like I had to go emergency potty outside. Did I have to potty? Noooo... I just wanted to sniff and sit in the sun!  (Mom was on to my antics after my second trip outside in an hour with no pottying going on.)

 
And my best mischief lately? Well, that was on Friday night. It was my neighbor's 80th birthday, so Mom and I went to visit her in the evening. While Mom was showing her something on her computer, I found a new toy to play with in my neighbor's bedroom.

I plucked and plucked at my new toy. Then Mom came looking for me.

Turns out it wasn't a toy that I was making little tooth holes in. It was a pair of my neighbor's underwear...
 
Oopsie.
 

The Shredder

OK. I'll admit it. I'm a little older, and I have a sensitive tummy, so sometimes I have accidents in the house. And when that happens, I usually like to go in the same spot in the same room.

Mom put a potty pad in that spot to try to save the carpet and make her cleanup easier. I let that slide for a while.

Last night, however, while Mom was in the shower, I decided that I'd had enough of the potty pad.

 
Oh, yes. I shredded it. Mom spread it out to survey the damage. She had to pick up little pieces of the stuffing from all over.

I worked fast, too, because she wasn't in the shower for very long.

 
I prefer to poo directly on the carpet. *evil snickers*
 

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

I've been good. Really I have. OK, so maybe not "good," but you know I've really tried.

Now, no matter what my Mom tells you, I have NOT been messing with the Christmas presents under our Christmas tree.

She claims I've been barking at the presents, rolling on the presents, walking on 'em, and even wiping my eye boogies on them.  How dare she blame me for all of that, especially when she knows you're watching!

Um. Nevermind, Santa. I've really tried to be good, though, and I haven't unwrapped any of those presents (yet). Does that still count as "good"?  I'd really like some Greenies for Christmas. And bully sticks. And toys...

Thanks!
Buttons
     

Not My Fault

This year Mom put her M&M men beside the Christmas tree. (Ignore the bicycle in this picture...)
 

Somehow, the Red guy fell over into the Christmas tree and knocked some ornaments off.

I have NO idea who might have done this.

Seriously. No idea.

OK, so maybe I might have a little bit of an idea of how that happened...

Don't tell Santa.
 

My Underground Lair

Mom disturbed the privacy of my underground lair with her stupid camera.

And by "underground lair," I mean my hidey spot under Mom's bed where I like to hide my toys and shred Mom's old mail.

That's exactly what I was doing when she stuck the camera down there and took this shot of my hiney.

I have to put up with so much...
   

The Shredder

The weather is getting colder, so my allergies aren't as bad as they usually are. And my skin infection is all better now, too. You know what that means? MISCHIEF!

When I'm feeling good, there's no telling what I'll get myself into.  Here's my latest accomplishment:

I took a sack or two of old mail...pulled it under Mom's bed...and shredded it!  Then, piece by piece, I pulled it out from under the bed and spread it around.  All while Mom was asleep in her bed, of course.

I pulled some toys into the mix, too, and played with them. Then had to take a nap, of course.

Trying my best to look innocent when confronted by the mess...

Apparently Mom was on to my shenanigans and tried to get video of me in action. Lucky for me, it was too dark under the bed for her camera to work on video! I stopped my shredding when I saw the camera appear, too. She caught some good snorts on video, though...



Failed attempt to photograph me shredding stuff under the bed...

Aerial view of me emerging from my shredding location...

I'm quite detail-oriented in my shredding, too.  See how tiny I can get those scraps?

Plastic sacks are no match for my abilities, either.

Magazines... I'm an equal opportunity shredder.

All sorts of mail!  Nothing can withstand Shredder Buttons!

Mom's trying to figure out how to clean up the rest of the scraps of paper from way, way under the bed.

Things are sure fun when I'm feeling ornery!
 

Sleepy Day

I'm not a fan of Mondays because it means that Mom has to go back to work. The only good thing is that I can still nap all day while she's gone.

And, boy, do I nap. I'm an expert napper.

It's especially nice to be able to nap this morning since I was busy all night shredding more paper under Mom's bed. I also enjoyed keeping her up by barking for treats every 20 minutes or so.  Such a busy night for me!  I'm super glad I can nap and rest up to do it all over again tonight...
 

Little Mischief

You know I've got a little ornery side, right?

A while back, Mom discovered that I shredded a bag of her old mail that she had on the floor on the side of the bed. (She's not the tidiest housekeeper.)  She cleaned up the scraps and figured that was the last of that.

She was wrong.

Because I found another bag of old mail.

Mom heard me messing around under the bed the other night and had to investigate. This is what she discovered:

The boxes are Mom's. Everything else -- toys, papers, shredded sacks -- is my handiwork. I pulled the bag of mail under the bed, shredded the bag and the papers, and added toys to the mix! Awfully big mess for such a little pup, don't you think?  I'm quite proud of it.

Of course I had to look all sad when Mom discovered my shenanigans. She can't be upset with a sad doggie.

The pathetic look works every time with her. She can't resist it.

Now it's time to nap while she cleans up after me.

It's tough to be a pup.
   

Getting Ready...

Mom spent time yesterday getting stuff ready for my surgery. She said I couldn't have anything to eat last night, so she had to hunt to find all of the bully sticks I'd hidden around our house.

She even dug under the bed to look for bully sticks. Instead of bullies, however, she found 21 toys, 3 unmatched socks, a jean jacket, and confetti that was once a magazine. I acted innocent, of course.

Nope. I didn't make this mess. Not me...

You gotta admit that's a pretty impressive stash for a pup my size, though.  He he he.

Mom also rearranged my doggie beds in the living room. I decided to test out the side of one bed.

Getting ready for surgery is exhausting, you know...

Making the Bed

Mom seemed to have some difficulty making the bed this evening. She took the sheets and blankets off to wash them, but then she couldn't manage to get them back on the bed.

I have no idea why...