The Shredder

OK. I'll admit it. I'm a little older, and I have a sensitive tummy, so sometimes I have accidents in the house. And when that happens, I usually like to go in the same spot in the same room.

Mom put a potty pad in that spot to try to save the carpet and make her cleanup easier. I let that slide for a while.

Last night, however, while Mom was in the shower, I decided that I'd had enough of the potty pad.

 
Oh, yes. I shredded it. Mom spread it out to survey the damage. She had to pick up little pieces of the stuffing from all over.

I worked fast, too, because she wasn't in the shower for very long.

 
I prefer to poo directly on the carpet. *evil snickers*
 

The Closed Door

You know what this is?

That, my friends, is a closed door.  Mom did that.  You may wonder why on earth she would close off part of our house.  Well, she claims it's because I did this...

And this...

...in that room.

Now I ask you, is this fair?  Should I really be blocked from entering and "enjoying" part of my house???

We've established in the past that I should get rights to 50% of this house since it's only Mom and me here.  That means I get 50% of that closed off room, too.  And besides, Mom only uses it to store stuff in.  So it's perfectly fine in my opinion if I choose to use the room for...other...um...uses...

I've given Mom my best looks of pure innocence, but she's not buying it.

*sighs*

As soon as I get a step stool and opposable thumbs, that room is all mine...

Puppy Poetry: Rainy Days

Rainy Days

We've had a lot of rain here,

Falling in big drops from the sky.

The grass is green and happy,

But I prefer staying dry.

That rain makes it difficult,

To go outside and do my duty.

With the grass so sopping wet,

It gets all over my booty!

So I've come to a conclusion.

And I know just what I'll do.

Until the sun comes out again,

I'll refuse to go out to poo!

Staying inside...and staying dry...

My Priorities

I got a cool new donut toy tonight! It's got three squeakers in it, and it's super easy for me to hold onto.

The problem with my toy, however -- and the reason for this blog post -- is what Mom did with the donut. She gave me the new squeaky when she got home...and then she had the nerve to expect me to go outside to potty! How nutso is THAT?!

She should know me well enough by now to know that ain't going to work. I do NOT leave squeakies, especially NEW ones, to do something silly like potty outside. When I get a new toy, nothing else matters.

Mom had to pull and tug to get the donut away from me, and then she also had take the donut outside with us before I'd even consider joining her out there.

I think it's pretty obvious to everyone (and it should be obvious to Mom) that my priorities are as follows:

1. Toys.
2. Cookies.
3. Doggie food.
4. Belly rubs & ear scratches
5. Going potty outside.
6. Going for walks.
7. Naps.
8. Taking up as much of the bed as possible.
9. Working on my plan of taking over the house with my toy collection.
10. Whatever else Mom thinks she's gonna get me to do.

So Mom should really have known better. Just when I think I've got her trained, she goes and does something stupid like that...

Sleepy Saturday

Saturday was my Mom's birthday, and I celebrated with her of course. In fact, I started the party early by waking Mom up at 4:00 a.m. to go potty outside. And then I decided that I was pretty sleepy, so I slept in. And I mean I really slept in. Mom got up at 8:00 a.m., but I didn't get out of bed until noon.

And I only got out of bed then because Mom made me. She said she was worried that I was gonna explode if I didn't go outside again.

I say that I was just sleepy and she worries too much.

The Standoff

Mom and I are having an argument. Let me know who you agree with here...

THIS is an EMPTY water bowl:

Why is it empty? Because MOM refuses to refill it. Isn't that rude?! It's my water bowl that's in our bedroom. I like to drink lots of water at night. Is it my fault that I'm thirsty then? I think not!

Mom says that I should just use the water bowl in the other room during the day and that I shouldn't drink so much at night. Again...not my fault that I'm thirsty at night.

You know why Mom's refusing to refill my bedroom water bowl? You want to hear her flimsy, weak reasoning? She "claims" that she's tired of taking me out to potty in the middle of the night. She thinks it's unreasonable that I need to potty at 3:30 a.m. But when you gotta go, don't you gotta go?! Isn't it her duty as my Mom to let me potty when I need to potty?!

So in a nutshell...

1. Not my fault I'm thirsty at night.

2. So it's also not my fault that I have to potty at night, either.

3. And what's the problem with taking me out at 3:30 a.m. anyway?

I'm gonna get dehydrated if she keeps this up. Refill my water bowl, Mom!!!