Kibble War

I put myself to bed early tonight. Really early.

It wasn't 'cause I was tired, either.  It's because of THIS:

That, my friends, is a bowl of plain old kibble.  I'm refusing to eat it.  For years I've trained Mom to doctor up my kibble with canned dog food, beef broth, hamburger, rice, etc.  For some unknown reason, however, Mom has been cutting back on the good stuff.  For the last two days, she has only given me nothing but PLAIN OLD KIBBLE.

This is unacceptable.

So, tonight I refused to eat my supper and I put myself to bed early.  There's a method to my madness, though.

You see, when I go to bed, I always get a "night night cookie."  That's right...a treat for going to bed.  So since I was refusing to eat my kibble, I decided to just go to bed for my night night cookie instead.  I was hungry, after all.

Brilliant plan, if I do say so myself!

I barked at Mom from the bedroom until she brought me my cookie.  (That way she knew I was serious.)  Then I scarfed it down!

It was yummy!

This was really a brilliant move on my part.  Totally got Mom to give me a cookie and avoided the plain old kibble.

And of course I gave Mom my "GIVE ME MORE COOKIES" look to try to get another one out of her.

Sadly, that didn't work as well.

And now I need to point out something a bit unusual in the very first picture I posted tonight.  Here it is again:

See that pink spot in my chin furs?  Here's a zoomed-in version:

That's a scrap of one of the magazines I've been shredding under Mom's bed.  She caught me red-handed tonight.  Oopsie...

At least Santa already came...and I already got a cookie tonight...

Baths Have Resumed

Mom was sick for about a week. Sure, her coughing kept me up at night, but overall her being sick really worked to my advantage.  Let's face it, it's nice having Mom home during the day to nap with me.

And because Mom had a bad cold, she couldn't bend over the bathtub.  Bending made her head hurt worse.  So, my friends, that also meant NO medicated baths for me the entire time Mom was sick!  Woo hooooo!!!

Unfortunately, however, my bath reprieve ended tonight.  That's right...Mom resumed the torture once again.

As soon as she let me out of the bathroom, I took my still-partially-wet body straight to her bed.  I like to get that "wet dog" smell on her blankets.

She offered me kibbles as a peace offering.

I refused to even look at the kibbles.  Or at her.

Stupid medicated baths.

Nocturnal Shih Tzu

Mom says "Nocturnal Shih Tzu" sounds like a good punk rock band name.  It also, in her opinion, describes me perfectly.

I have a tendency to wake Mom up at night.  I do it for fun reasons, too.  For example, I bark if I want Mom to turn on the light so I can go down my doggie stairs from the bed.  When it's time to go back up the stairs, I bark again. I have to be able to properly see my stairs!

Sometimes I wake Mom up by rolling on toys on the floor.

Or if I'm hungry, I wake her up, of course.

Or if I just wanna play for a while and I'm bored of playing by myself.

And then there's the obvious -- potty break.

Mom just doesn't understand.  She gets all bent outta whack about it, too.  Says she needs her beauty sleep.  But what else does she expect me to do??  Go down my stairs with only the light of the little night light?!  Or be content playing by myself?  Or...horror...NOT go potty?!

And then she gets all grouchy with me in the morning, too, when I snooze while she's getting ready to leave for work.

Not my fault.  It's her job to work for the kibble money.  It's my job to snooze and protect the living room.

And I might add that I'm very good at my job.

Mom just needs to figure out a way to nap at her job, too...

Hunger Strike!

Mom decided -- foolishly, I might add -- that my canned doggie food was too expensive and not good for my teeth.  She also seemed to think I didn't appreciate it anymore since I left some in my bowl occasionally.  So you know what she did???

She gave me PLAIN OLD KIBBLE.  Now, I got plain kibbles before, but at least she put canned food on top to sweeten the deal a little.

But not anymore...

Blech.  Seriously.  Just plain old kibble...

I gave her a look.

And I pleaded, of course...

Turned on my "pathetic" charm.

Mom added something wet to my kibbles and then she cooked it in the microwave.  But I decided to remain firm.  I would NOT touch that nasty kibble.  I want my canned food back.  Not touching the icky dry stuff...

I'm turning up my nose that that stuff and I'm going on a hunger strike!!!

Nooooo icky dry kibbles!!!

MOM MUST LEARN!!!!!!

OK, so maybe when Mom left the kitchen I got desperate. And she caught me in the act.

Oops.

How embarrassing.

Hunger strike begins again tomorrow.

Puppy Snack Mix

Way back when I first got adopted 2.5 years ago, I trained Mom to give me treats at bed time.  Mom used to give me some of my kibble pieces as my snack.  But then as her training advanced, I convinced her to break out the good cookies instead of those healthy kibbles.

Well, she foolishly decided the other day to try to switch me back to the kibbles.

She began trying to sneak it past me by making a puppy snack mix out of dry kibbles and yummy cookies.

I was excited at first, expecting my nightly cookies.  "Gimme those cookies, Mom!"

I investigated the mix.

Started to nibble...

Nibbled some more...

Licked the sheet to make sure I got all the good stuff...

Yawned while licking my lips...

And I do believe I showed Mom exactly what I thought of her new tactic.

Then I glared at her.  "That is NOT going to work. I am NOT eating the kibbles."

I made sure I didn't leave any cookie crumbs...

And then I glared at Mom once again for giving me kibbles.

Seriously.  Give me good cookies.  That's how I've trained you...

Sneaky Supper

I don't like to eat dry kibble. That's a fact. Mom thinks I should eat dry kibble. That's another fact.

So, to try to get me to eat the kibbles, Mom puts pieces of canned food on top of the kibbles. She puts some powder stuff in there, too, for extra vitamins and stuff. Mom thinks she's soooo sneaky.

This is what my supper looks like:

I do my thing...

And this is what I leave for Mom:

See what I'm doing here? I'm turning the sneaky around! I just eat the canned pieces off the top and leave the rest virtually untouched!

For some reason, Mom doesn't appreciate my sneakiness.

Strategy: Act Pathetic

When your food bowl is empty, it's essential that you get it filled back up as quickly as possible. So, I'm going to share with you a great strategy that I've used several times.

It's simple. Act pathetic...and flop by your food bowl.

The "pathetic pup" technique works every time.

The Mom and the Kibbles

You know that story of "The Princess and the Pea?" Well, I've written my own version. I call it, "The Mom and the Kibbles." Here it is...

The Mom and the Kibbles

There once was an adorable, always-right Shih Tzu named Buttons. Buttons lived with her Mom, and even though she had only been with her forever family for a year and a half, Buttons had her Mom pretty well-trained. (She discovered early on that Mom had a weak spot for sad puppy eyes, and that really helped speed up the training.)

Each night at bedtime, Buttons got cookies. These were special kibble cookies because Buttons ate prescription doggie food for her bad allergies and tummy troubles.

Even though the cookies were kibble pieces, they were still VERY yummy as far as Buttons was concerned.

One night, Mom didn't sleep well. All night long she kept dreaming that she was sleeping on rocks or that things were poking her in the legs. She flip-flopped through the night, trying to get comfortable.

As Mom got out of bed the next morning, she thought about her funny dreams. She pulled back the bed sheet to investigate and discovered...KIBBLES!

Buttons hadn't eaten all of her kibble cookies at bedtime, and since Buttons liked to scoot to the middle of the bed during the night, the kibbles had followed right along. Those rocks that Mom dreamed about were actually the kibble pieces poking her!

Mom was not happy. Not happy at all. In fact, she banned all kibble cookies from the bed from that day on.

The moral of the story: Always finish your bedtime snack.

Now I gotta go practice my sad puppy eyes to see if I can get my kibbles back in the bed each night...