Stupid Baths

The other day Mom made a pathetic attempt to distract me from my medicated bath.  She put squeaky rubber duckies in the tub.  It did not work.

Seriously.  I hate baths.  Ducks don't help things like this.

And then she lined them up to amuse herself while I was sitting there for a bazillion hours with that stupid medicated shampoo on my furs.  NOT FUNNY.

I got sick of that, too, and attempted to make a break for it.

I actually managed to make it out of the tub, but Mom thwarted my escape attempt with the stupid baby gate.

Not cool.

And then she just taunted me from the outside of the bathroom by taking pictures.

Seriously not cool.

When Mom was done taking pictures, she decided that the shampoo had been on my furs long enough.  So, she stuck me back in the tub with those duckies and she washed off the medicated shampoo.

Stupid baths...

Snake Attack!!!

Today started out like a normal Saturday for us, but then things took a terrible, horrible turn for the worst when I noticed Mom putting my duckies into the bathtub. That's never a good sign. Sure enough, THIS happened...

In addition to the typical bath horror, Mom decided to torture me with a stupid wash cloth. She used it to get the allergy goops off of my eyes, but then she had to go and do THIS...

That was totally NOT funny. Of course I tried to escape.

But Mom kept catching me and putting me back in the tub. Darn it! I suppose it was probably about time I had a bath, though. Check out how dirty that water is from just little old me! He he he.

After my bath ordeal, I took some extra time to dry my furs on my doggie bed.

Now you're probably wondering why I called this post "Snake Attack!!!" if I was only gonna talk about my stupid bath. Well, here's why...

After my bath, Mom took me out for a short walk. We saw our mailman outside and he had a package for us. When we got back inside, Mom opened the package...and there was a vicious, hideous, rattler SNAKE inside!

I knew that it was my job to protect Mom in this situation. I am, after all, a doggie. So I jumped right in and attacked that horrible snake.

Here's some video of me taking care of the rattler snake!

Of course I had to pluck it, too...

After the snake was properly subdued, I had to rest for a while. That snake wore me out.

What a day...what a day...

Stupid Baths

Mom decided that I was too stinky to go on the Mutt Strut this weekend, so you know what she did? She made me take a bath! Now let me ask you this...do you think the other dogs really cared how I smelled?! Seriously.

Mom said that I was scratching my ears too much so we needed to clean them out, too. Augh. She makes me stand in the sink for that. I, of course, tried to escape, but my escape attempts all failed.

And then came the real torture...the bath tub... Here's my "before" picture. Take a look at how clear that water is.

So here's an "after" picture. Just look at that bath water now!

Yes, those are my rubber ducks in the tub with me. Mom thinks they'll distract me from the trauma of the bath. No such luck...

I still tried to escape!

Mom laughed at my misery, too. You know what she did? She took a video of me trying to get out of the tub! I showed her -- I shook in the water to try to get her camera all wet!

I did feel bad for those poor ducks, though. So, just as soon as Mom got me out of that tub and drained the water, I went back to try to rescue them. "Where are you, duckies?!"

Then Mom lined 'em up on the edge of the tub.

When she was trying to blow dry my furs, I took two of the ducks over by the door. I later relocated them to the living room, far away from the tub!

Stupid baths.

Rubber Ducky, You're the One

Mom told me last night that I was a stinky doggie. I replied, "why thank you very much!" I'm a dog. I really don't care how I smell! Well, actually, I take that back. I'd rather stink than smell like vanilla dog shampoo. Most importantly, though...I don't like baths!

Mom thought she'd try to make bath time a little better for me this time. Just take a look at what she did:

That's right...she bought rubber ducky doggie toys and put them in the bath water! There's a momma ducky and four baby duckies. She thought she would trick me into getting into the tub by putting toys in there. That was NOT going to happen. I investigated the new toys from afar...outside of the bath water.

I tried to make a break for it when Mom cornered me to put me in the tub. Duckies or not, a bath is still a bath.

"Oh, you poor duckies! We're stuck in this bath tub together!"

Mom washed me all over and I plotted my escape from the bath tub...while trying to act like I wasn't actually plotting my escape... (Hmm...that water looks a little dirty. Was all of that dirt really in my furs?!)

Tried to make a break for it with a baby ducky, but I couldn't make it over the side of the tub. Having the duck in my mouth did make it harder for Mom to wash my face, though, so that was a tiny bit of revenge...

Then I tried to rescue the momma duck, too, but she was just too big...and the bath tub was too deep.

"Sorry, duckies, but it looks like you're on your own!"

Mom finally rescued me from the tub and she got the duckies out of there, too. She put 'em on the bath mat. I knew they couldn't get away from there, though, so while Mom was trying to dry me off, I moved all of the duckies over to the door, one by one.

I also rescued 'em from the bathroom, then, just as soon as Mom opened that door. Well, I had to do it one at a time, so it took me several trips to get all the duckies out to our living room. The ducks are much more fun to play with in the living room!

Here's hoping that we don't have to do that ever again. Just say "NO" to baths!