Sunday, January 24, 2010

Sekurity Report: January 2010 PawPawty

My sissy Lexi-Lou was the PawPawty Sekurity Team's Dokumentation Officer, but she passed away last month. So I talked to Mom and we both decided that it would be o.k. if I tried my paw at documenting for the team. So I talked to Captain Snickers and officially joined the team in memory of my sissy. Lexi did a great job with her Sekurity Team reports, so I've got some "big" little teeny paws to fill!

Here's my first official PawPawty Sekurity Team Report...

The January 2010 PawPawty was held on January 23 and 24. The Pawty was a celebration of all things Las Vegas! (Very cool, in my opinion.) Instead of picking a charity nominated by an anipal, the Pawty Organizer Frugal Dougal decided that we should help out all of the animals affected by the earthquake and devastation in Haiti. (Again...very cool, in my opinion!) All of the Pawty donations went to The International Fund for Animal Welfare and the World Society for the Protection of Animals. The anipals at this Pawty raised $1,863 for these organizations. Yeah!

Captain Snickers and Sergeant Shawnee put together the Sekurity Team Roll Call for this Pawty. (Big thanks to Sergeant Shawnee for sewing all of the Pawty uniforms.)


January 2010 Sekurity Team Roll Call




Captain SnickersSergeant Shawnee
Officer BrutusNinja Strike Force Leader mizCleo
Officer MorrisJunior Officer Buddy
Cadet SmokeyCadet Mace
Dokumentation Officer ButtonsUnderkover Sekret Informant Fergus


January 2010 Sekurity Report

2:00 p.m.Captain Snickers reports for Sekurity Dooty.
2:16 p.m.Sekurity Announcement: Remember you must unprotect your tweets to be seen during Pawty and use the #pawpawty hashtag to attend!
2:35 p.m.Captain Snickers suggests a "Zone of Protection" around Dokumentation Officer Buttons to prevent her from being distracted by squeaky toys. Cadet Smokey will help enforce the Zone.
2:55 p.m.Sekurity Announcement: Don't forget to block the spammers and free money people. Get lots of followers, and noggty nekkid ladies that start following you during the Pawty.
2:57 p.m.Sekurity Announcement: And remember this is VIVA WAG VEGAS Pawty. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas! (Except for stuff that ends up in the Sekurity Report...)
3:42 p.m.Report comes in of hundreds of squeaky balls being released at the party. (WOO HOO!)
3:44 p.m.Squeaky, squeaky, squeaky, squeaky, squeaky. (Note: Sorry...Dokumentation Officer was distracted by the squeaky balls.)
3:45 p.m.Sekurity Announcement: Zone of squeaky toy protection around Dokumentation Officer Buttons has been broken!!! Everypal catch a squeaky ball!
3:45 p.m.Dokumentation Officer Buttons is placed in isolation due to sensory squeaky overload. (Note from Buttons: Oh, this is embarrassing...my first Sekurity Report and I have to dokument myself!)
4:00 p.m.Ninja Strike Force Leader mizCleo reports for Sekurity Dooty.
Handoff Report:
We had to put Dokumentation Officer Buttons in isolation. We had a massive squeaky ball release and she is in shock.
4:07 p.m.Captain Snickers signs off of Sekurity Dooty.
4:18 p.m.Ninja Strike Force Leader mizCleo escorts Dokumentation Officer Buttons to safety away from the squeaky balls at the Pawty. Buttons goes home to recover.
4:58 p.m.Ninja Strike Force Leader reports that everything is pretty quiet.
5:48 p.m.Sekurity Announcement: Remember you must unprotect your tweets to be seen during Pawty and use the #pawpawty hashtag to attend!
5:58 p.m.Sergeant Shawnee reports for Sekurity Dooty.
Handoff Report:
Our Dokumentation Officer had a toy overload earlier. Buttons did goes home for a bit to recover. That's it!
6:05 p.m.Ninja Strike Force Leader mizCleo signs off of Sekurity Dooty.
6:50 p.m.Sergeant Shawnee reports that things are quiet.
7:22 p.m.Sekurity Announcement: Everybody block @jane_fell. She is a noggty nekkid laydee spammer.
7:55 p.m.Sekurity Alert: Buttons has arrived. Pawlese remove all squeaky toys from the premises.
7:57 p.m.Cadet Smokey reports for Sekurity Dooty.
Handoff Report:
Not much is going on!
8:00 p.m.Sergeant Shawnee signs off of Sekurity Dooty.
8:04 p.m.Sekurity Announcement: Remember you must unprotect your tweets to be seen during Pawty and use the #pawpawty hashtag to attend!
8:08 p.m.Sekurity Announcement: Don't forget to block the spammers and free money people. Get lots of followers, and noggty nekkid ladies that start following you during the Pawty.
8:11 p.m.Sekurity Alert: Please be on the lookout for @Wildboutbirds' Winkie. It has been lost! Contact him for info.
8:13 p.m.Report from Cadet Smokey: I'm not entirely sure what a Winkie is, but @Wildboutbirds would like his back.
8:16 p.m.Remember this is VIVA WAG VEGAS Pawty. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas! Except for what's on Twitter...
8:18 p.m.Official warning issued to some streakers: Anyone caught streaking will be reported on Sekurity Report and assigned litter box detail.
8:21 p.m.Streakers continued, so @kingtuttifruiti, @TheNascarKitty, and @Kealoha_Kitty are apprehended and given litter box detail.
8:29 p.m.Cadet Smokey again asks the streaking kitties to put their furs back on and stop the streaking. Kitties comply, and no litter box detail is actually handed out.
8:57 p.m.Report comes in from @CathyKeisha of a nekkid duck in the DJ booth.
9:00 p.m.Cadet Smokey advises @CathyKeisha that if Donald and Daisy don't have to wear pants, then neither does @GeorgeTheDuck.
9:01 p.m.Sergeant Shawnee pops into the party to verify to Cadet Smokey that Sekurity has ruled on streaking in the past and it's o.k. for anipals to be nekkid (because they don't wear clothes anyway, just furs). Noggity nekkid ladies, however, are baaaad. Cadet Smokey's handling of the streaking @GeorgeTheDuck was fine and stands as-is. Situation with the kitties earlier was fine, too, since they put their furs back on when asked to do so. (No litter box dooty was ever officially handed out.)
9:09 p.m.Sekurity Announcement: Canceling Lost & Found for Winkie. Apparently @Wildboutbirds found it.
9:18 p.m.Report comes in from @OdyMaltese that Cadet Smokey is sleeping on dooty. http://twitpic.com/zgtxw
9:19 p.m.Cadet Smokey immediately refutes claims made by his little brother, proving he wasn't sleeping on dooty.
9:44 p.m.Sekurity Announcement: Remember you must unprotect your tweets to be seen during Pawty and use the #pawpawty hashtag to attend!
9:44 p.m.Sekurity Announcement: Don't forget to block the spammers and free money people. Get lots of followers, and noggty nekkid ladies that start following you during the Pawty.
9:56 p.m.Officer Brutus reports for Sekurity Dooty.
Handoff Report:
Cadet Smokey: All things are quiet at present. Had some streaking cats and one streaking duck, but Sergeant Shawnee reminded us that naked anipals okay. @Pierrethepoodle had a little too much of his own hooch, but didn't cause any problems. He's sleeping it off at my house tonight. (Note: Cadet Smokey lives in Las Vegas!)
Officer Brutus: Anybody who needs watching or protecting?
Cadet Smokey: No sir. Dokumentation Officer Buttons was here earlier, but no more squeaky toys have been seen. Too many squeaky toys send her into shock.
10:01 p.m.Cadet Smokey signs off of Sekurity Dooty.
10:06 p.m.Officer Brutus reports that @Wildboutbirds couldn't find a real Winkie so he had to use a Twinkie. Sad. But thanks @Herbie_Cat! (Note: Dokumentation Officer just dokuments...and has no idea what this means...and does not want to know, either...)
10:25 p.m.Officer Brutus reports that the pawtiers are being a well-behaved and happy group so far.
10:36 p.m.Officer Brutus enforces zone of squeaky toy protection around Dokumentation Officer Buttons. (Whew!)
10:46 p.m.Officer Brutus reports: As punishment for drawing on sleeping anipals, @thenascarkitty is sentenced to drawing thank you notes to all who donate!
10:51 p.m.It's Slinky Scooby Dancing Time!!! Officer Brutus begins his famous Slinky Scooby Dance in memory of @lexiloudog. All tips are appreciated and should be given via the Pawty charity donation links! It's for a good cause, after all!
11:08 p.m.As clarification, Officer Brutus reports that he gave his underwear away prior to the Slinky Scooby Dancing. It was a totally unrelated event. (The undies went to @SirFudgeEsq...and it's reported that they smell bad. Really bad.)
11:12 p.m.Officer Brutus has to administer CPR to adoring fan @SydPie while fanning equally-adoring fan @OatieDog. Both girls fully recover.
11:28 p.m.Officer Brutus makes sekurity rounds by the high-stakes table and checks on @RockumSockum and @trailerparkdogs. Everything checks out o.k.
12:00 a.m.Captain Snickers reports for Sekurity Dooty.
12:03 a.m.Cadet Mace reports for Sekurity Dooty.
Handoff Report:
Several of the ladies fainted and I had to give them CPR but they are fine now. Bunch of boys are playing strip poker in the back. Underwear was everywhere and then @Sir_Fudge_Esq took it all. Not an issue, though, since nobody wanted their underwear back.
12:07 a.m.Officer Brutus signs off of Sekurity Dooty.
12:25 a.m.Captain Snickers watches over things while Cadet Mace puts on his new sekurity uniform.
12:30 a.m.Sekurity Announcement from Captain Snickers: Please welcome Cadet Mace to his first sekurity shift!
12:59 a.m.Captain Snickers signs off of Sekurity Dooty temporarily. Cadet Mace is officially on his first solo Sekurity shift.
12:59 a.m.Sekurity Announcement from Cadet Mace: Don't forget to block the spammers and free money people. Get lots of followers, and noggty nekkid ladies that start following you during the Pawty.
1:48 a.m.Cadet Mace catches some anipals trying to sneak bottles of alcohol away from the Pawty and out to a shed. @Fergusthedog, @BadAndy_KityKat, @perrythebirman, and @MugsyDog surrender the alcohol.
1:58 a.m.Officer Morris reports for Sekurity Dooty.
Handoff Report:
@BadAndy_KityKat, @Fergusthedog, @perrythebirman, and @MugsyDog tried to take some bottles for a "good cause," but they gave them back and took off like the wind!
2:06 a.m.Cadet Mace signs off of Sekurity Dooty.
2:06 a.m.Underkover Sekrit Informant Fergus tells Captain Snickers that his involvement in the bottle theft (@Fergusthedog) was only for Sekurity Team informant reasons.
2:14 a.m.Report comes in from @SylvieDog that her tequila was all stolen by @Fergusthedog and @perrythebirman. Officer Morris begins to investigate. (Proof: http://twitter.com/SylvieDog/status/8141883936)
2:23 a.m.Captain Snickers informs Officer Morris that Internal Affairs will need to begin investigating whether or not Underkover Sekrit Informant Fergus is abusing his underkover status.
2:30 a.m.Underkover Sekrit Informant Fergus reports that stolen tequila "was a sekurity check to see if the tequila was adequately protected. Definitely need better locks."
2:30 a.m.Officer Morris asks Underkover Sekrit Informant Fergus to go to Sekurity Team Headquarters for investigation of tequila theft. Fergus resists and runs.
2:36 a.m.Officer Morris is forced to chase Underkover Sekrit Informant Fergus down on the Sekurity Harley. When apprehended, Fergus says he can't go to Sekurity Headquarters because his Mum says he has to go to bed. He does, however, return the stolen tequila.
3:05 a.m.Report comes in from @JavaTheCat of a spammer at the Pawty. Officer Morris takes care of the situation.
3:06 a.m.Sekurity Announcement: Block user 8151TwitWii3 as it is a SPAMMER - DO NOT click on his links!
4:04 a.m.Officer Morris signs off of Sekurity Dooty. NOTE: There is no sekurity coverage for the next two hours.
6:00 a.m.Junior Officer Buddy is supposed to report for Sekurity Dooty but does not show. (http://twitter.com/buddybentley/status/8163715823) NOTE: There is no sekurity coverage for the next four hours.
9:44 a.m.Ninja Strike Force Leader mizCleo reports early for Sekurity Dooty.
9:50 a.m.Ninja Strike Force Leader mizCleo hears of streaking plans by @kingtuttifruiti and @crazykittykat1. (http://twitter.com/kingtuttifruiti/status/8151420171)
9:59 a.m.Ninja Strike Force Leader mizCleo prevents from @kingtuttifruiti nomming on @GeorgeTheDuck (http://twitter.com/kingtuttifruiti/status/8151703381). He's our pal!
10:00 a.m.@kingtuttifruiti and @crazykittykat1remove their furs and take off. Ninja Strike Force Leader mizCleo goes after the nekkid kitties, taking their furs with her.
10:12 a.m.Ninja Strike Force Leader mizCleo delivers furs to the nekkid kitties. No charges are filed.
11:02 a.m.Sekurity Announcement: Remember you must unprotect your tweets to be seen during Pawty and use the #pawpawty hashtag to attend!
11:58 a.m.Cadet Smokey and Officer Brutus both report for Sekurity Dooty.
Handoff Report:No mishaps to report.
12:07 p.m.Sekurity Announcement from Cadet Smokey: Don't forget to block the spammers and free money people. Get lots of followers, and noggty nekkid ladies that start following you during the Pawty.
12:08 p.m.Ninja Strike Force Leader mizCleo signs off of Sekurity Dooty but will remain at the Pawty just in case she's needed.
12:30 p.m.It's Slinky Scooby Dancing Time! Officer Brutus jumps onto the bar for the second Slinky Scooby Dance of the Pawty. Tip big, anipals! All tips help the anipals in Haiti!!! (Note: Cadet Smokey is available for any sekurity issues while Officer Brutus is on the bar.)
12:45 p.m.Sekurity Announcement from Cadet Smokey: suspicious activity from 151a_bot. Retweeting Pawty tweets; Twitter account looks funny to me. Be alert, anipals.
12:52 p.m.Cadet Smokey reports himself for getting distracted any time someone mentions "bacon."
12:52 p.m.Officer Brutus and Cadet Smokey clarify to Pawty anipals that nekkid anipals are o.k., but nekkid ladies are NOT o.k. So, the clothes that came off during the Slinky Scooby Dancing (by various anipals) are o.k.
1:58 p.m.Security Announcement from Cadet Smokey: Please check your Twitter accounts for any suspicious followers! Tweet safe!
2:00 p.m.January 2010 Pawty ends safely with lots of fun. Very quiet shift from Sekurity prospective
2:03 p.m.Cadet Smokey and Officer Brutus sign off of Sekurity Dooty.

9 comments:

  1. Eggsept for the sensory overload incident with squeaky toys, I say fine job for your first time! You done your sissy proud!

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  2. Buttons I think Lexi-Lou would be verry prowd of your first evur pawpawty sekurity report, you did a grate job! Thanks you!

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  3. Great report Officer Buttons
    Tweetypie

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  4. I used to be on Twitter and attended some pawpawties last year. Mama took me off tho. Anyway, it sounds like everything is very professional and you did a great job! Wonderful news about the fundraiser for the animals in Haiti!

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  5. You have done a superb job Buttons and agree with Pandora; Lexi-Lou would be pleased~ *woofs* just sorry I am in the report! haha! You are wonderful Buttons!
    HB @Wildboutbirds

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  6. dokumentashun officer buttons you haz done very good job with your first #pawpawty report. i commend your service!

    offishully,
    captain snickers

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  7. Very nice job Buttons! Like the others have said Lexi would be proud of you! And I promise not to throw or bounce so many squeeky balls next pawpawty! Of course,I probably will get Mugsy dog drunk and steal all the Cheetos!(I didn't just say that out loud, did I?)...snicker...

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  8. The Security Reports are always a stitch to read. Good job Buttons.

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  9. is such a good report! i noes u was nervous, but u did escellent job! fantastico addition to da team!

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